Lactation life, on the express train.

Some mama’s breastfeed, some formula feed, some do a mixture of both.  There are also a group of mama’s who have an abundance of breastmilk and for whatever reason exclusively express pump and bottle feed their breastmilk to their babes – I like to call them “EBM  mama’s” (EBM stands for expressed breast milk for those who may not know).  No matter which category you or someone you know falls into, you best believe that they work hard to keep their babies fed, happy and healthy.  Each of these mama’s should be celebrated equally.

Although I started Ezra off on the breast, I am and remain a proud and strong EBM mama.   My journey started with low milk supply so naturally, I tried the whole works – tea, vitamins, cookies and then, I had too much milk.  I found myself needing to express every 2-3 hours and wow, that was exhausting because by the time I finished I had to start again soon after.  I then developed clogged ducts and milk lumps which then lead to mastitis.  I felt sore all over, fluey, had chills and fevers at 39 degrees.  Just when I thought I had recovered from mastitis I noticed a hard mass in my right breast which my GP described as feeling “hard like wood”.  Initially I didn’t think much of it because I felt fine but the antibiotics I was prescribed didn’t reduce the hardness and my skin had turned red.   A conversation with my chiro about my general wellbeing lead me to see a physio for mastitis ultrasound therapy however, she wasn’t convinced I had mastitis and encouraged me to have an ultrasound done as soon as possible.  Once I had the ultrasound done my physio was on the phone to my GP and in a matter of hours I had packed my bag and was sitting in the emergency waiting room of the Royal Melbourne Hospital.  At the time,  I (perhaps naively) thought I would be in and out within a few hours.  Boy was I wrong. The hard mass in my right breast was a 7 x 3 cm abscess which required ultrasound guided aspiration.  This essentially meant a needle was inserted into my breast to drain the pockets of pus in the abscess.  I was also required to be hooked up to a drip every six hours for a course of antibiotics.  By the fifth day (yes fifth!), I was pacing the corridors, packing my things, getting antsy waiting for the doctor to come and tell me that I could finally go home and thankfully, he did.

I’m usually quite private when it comes to personal and medical matters but I promised myself that once I felt as though I had won this battle that I would share my story and the lessons I learned to help other mama’s out there.  Each of these lessons at their core are about making time, making time to:

  • Get well acquainted with your breasts.  Massage them well and drain them as best you can.  I started off double pumping (to save time) but learned quickly that single pumping so I that I have one hand free to massage and drain my breasts, was the more time consuming but effective way of emptying my breasts.
  • Take care of yourself.  We have a tendency to push through pain and discomfort because motherhood not only means that we are busy but we are all of a sudden wired to put our babies first.  Make that doctors appointment, invest in those vitamins, that heat  pack, that nipple cream and say yes to that amazing trusted human that offers to watch your baby so you can get an extra couple of hours sleep.
  • Do your research.  Find yourself the right network of professionals to connect with and a pump that suits your needs because you need to be well supported and equipped!  I was fortunate to have found professionals that go above and beyond to take care of you and was recommended a pump that is now one of my most prized possessions.
  • Celebrate you.  My bestie who is an amazing mama told me to not be so hard on myself and to set a goal to make it to each month and she is so right.  Be kind to yourself and celebrate you.  Each time Ezra turns another month, I celebrate not only his life but parenthood with my husband and another month as an EBM mama.

When you fall pregnant, most of the focus is on labour but let me tell you, labour pain as much as it is out of this world, indescribable pain –  it is a fleeting moment.  Lactation life on the other hand is a daily grind of damn hard work (even though I now only have to express every 6 hours). Just yesterday I experienced a wave of panic because hard lumps had formed in my right breast and I did not want to go through the same experience of blood, sweat and tears – literally and in abundance.  You know what though? I got through it, I massaged and heat packed the crap out of those lumps until my hands hurt and my eyes could no longer stay open.   It can be gruelling and utterly relentless but life on the “express train” is a life choice I have made for my body and my baby.   When I look down at my happy, healthy Ezra in all his chubby glory, I know I’ve made the right decision for me.

To every mama out there feeding their babes, whether it be by BM, by formula or by EBM – I tip my hat to you and I celebrate you. You are super.

If you have any questions, need recommendations on anything mentioned above or would like to share your own experience, please feel free to DM or comment on Instragram at ezra.reign.

A heartbeat wrapped in a 2.8kg marvel.

This time last year…

  • I just turned 30.
  • I had lots of bubbles to celebrate without a second thought.
  • I indulged in a week of feasting on cheese, cake and all things delicious.
  • I took half an hour to pack light for our three night staycation.
  • I was focused on my career – assessing liability, giving sound advice and meeting my billable hours.
  • I prioritised my comfort and never went hungry.
  • I had serious body image issues.
  • I woke up to a beautiful face every morning.
  • I  wasn’t even sure it was possible for me to have a baby.

THIS year…my son,

  • I turned 31.
  • I had a glass of wine to celebrate and relished every sip.
  • I choose my meals carefully to avoid any dairy so as not to upset your tummy.
  • I took the whole morning to pack including too many nappies, spare clothes and bottles for just a one night staycation.
  • I am focused on ensuring you are happy, healthy and thriving.
  • I prioritise your comfort and make sure you never go hungry.
  • I have a confidence about my body that does not stem from a place of vanity but of strength in the knowledge that my body grew, birthed you and continues to nourish your little body.
  • I wake up to not one but two beautiful faces every morning with one that gummy smiles at the sight of me every single day without fail.
  • You are here, just as you were meant to be.

Wow.  The contrast from last year to this year.   Just…wow.

It is incredible the abundance of beauty just one year and a heartbeat wrapped in a 2.8kg marvel can bring.

My priorities are forever changed, my mind forever transformed, my heart forever full.

Lady. Wifey. Mama.

Now, Queen of my little tribe and undeniably, absolutely and irrevocably loving it.


Mind over everything.

26993354_10156113386692863_1440142345119941736_nOne of my gorgeous girlfriends has been thinking about having a baby and recently asked a group of us mamas what we thought was the percentage split between preparing your mind versus your body for labour – is it 50/50 she asked or otherwise?  My response was mind over everything.  It has since got me thinking why this was my answer and here, I share my reasons.

I should preface this post by noting that:

  • taking care of yourself physically is so incredibly important during pregnancy. I especially take my hat off to the mamas who work out throughout and up to the day they give birth.  There really is no understating the benefits of keeping active, eating well and nourishing your body when growing another precious life inside you; and
  • this is my own personal, individual and unique experience that I share in the hope that it helps in some small way to empower or affirm the decisions other mamas choose to or have made in relation to their birthing experience.


When I was asked what my birth plan was by my caseload midwife I responded with “to survive”.  She thought I was joking.  But this is the thing right, I’m a lawyer by profession, my default position is to overthink and this includes the risks and worst-case scenario.  And so, in the pursuit of enjoying my pregnancy I wanted to do the complete opposite and be blissfully oblivious, to just “go with the flow”, “get through it” and “survive”.  My midwife encouraged me against this approach and convinced me to be “empowered through education”.  Although reluctant at first, I obliged.

When you think about it, we have access to an abundance of information, support and resources, the kind that our mothers and grandmothers were not so fortunate to have.  It is ours for the taking if we choose.  That said, I chose not to read an endless amount of books (only 2) or watch hundreds of videos (refer to overthinking nature above).  However, in an ever-increasing culture of medical intervention during labour especially in relation to pain relief I wanted to make sure I knew what each intervention involved including the risks and benefits for both Ezra and I.

As part of this, my husband and I attended a workshop at Bliss Health and Wellness and the key takeaway for me was to be an active participant in my labour – to engage with my support team being my husband, midwife and other medical professionals, to communicate my concerns and to ask questions.  What are my options?  What are the benefits, the risks of each? Are there alternatives?  What does my gut tell me is best for Ezra and I?


Following the workshop, I wrote a rough birth plan which included what my ideal birthing environment and experience would be as well as the interventions I was open to and those I only wanted to consider as a last resort.  I say “rough” because I knew that nothing ever goes exactly to plan with birthing and accordingly, I decided to keep an open mind.

So the 9th of February rolled in, my hospital bag had not been completely packed, the car seat was sitting in the lounge room, the labour tens machine I booked to hire had not been picked up and I still had a list of things I wanted to accomplish in my three weeks of maternity leave before my due date.  But of course, as the universe would have it, Ezra decided to arrive exactly 4 weeks early with my waters breaking just as I woke up to get ready for another day of work.

As my labour progressed over the 12 hours before Ezra arrived, I was catapulted with challenges and decisions to be made.  Ultimately, my ideal labour experience did not occur.  What I can say with contentment however, is that I was able to face each challenge and decision, despite the physical pain with an inner sense of calm.  And this is because I chose to walk into my labour with an informed but open mind.


You can prepare your body as much as you like (and you should) but sometimes your baby and your body have a plan of their own.  As such, I say mind over everything because it is one of the only aspects in this adventure called motherhood that is within your control.

Suffice to say, I didn’t just survive my birthing experience, I owned it.


I hope so!  Would love to read your experiences, comments or questions.

To my baby love…


13 May 2018 / Mother’s Day

To my baby love

Today, for the very first time, I celebrate being a member of a prestigious tribe of incredible human beings. 

Now, there is often much focus on what mothers selflessly give to their children and rightly so – the love and care, the nurturing, the sacrifices and there is no understating any of it, not by any means.

However, I write this so that someday you will read this and understand the enormity of what it is YOU have brought into MY life. 

By your very existence you have illuminated to me what a gift it is to be encircled by those whom we call family, individuals that have enveloped us with an abundance of kindness and support from the moment you were the size of a mere sweet pea up to this very day.

You have revealed to me the true extent and character of my spirit, one I never knew existed until you, one that is physically, mentally and emotionally strong.  I am empowered in a way I have never been before. 

You have granted me the opportunity to experience a love like no other, one that is barely describable and yet has no bounds. 

Today I celebrate the privilege of being a mother, YOUR mother and for that I thank YOU, my son.

With all my love and gratitude,